Yap yap yap yap yap

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Is it yap time? ...I think its yap time.

Ignore this if you want. Its literally me talking about my current life. Kinda boring LOL

So, what am I doing? what am I planning on doing? What about the other random bs Im thinking of?

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IM LOSING MY MIND

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Life often finds a way to be messy. As much as I try to stay positive, things typically still end up on it's ass. Lately ive only looked at my relations with others as fake. What I mean by this, is that I look at these people and always find myself wondering if there is truely something there between us, or if Im some background character in their life. This floater friend thing has kinda controlled my life at the moment. I know that its my PPD playing with me, but I still chose to believe it anyway which is what is REALLY ticking me off. I try my hardest to forgive, move on, and remain with a smile, but sometimes days feel like its all crumbling around me. All I have to remember though, is that im never alone, even when I seem like I am.

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I find communication... iffy. I can yap, send the stupidest things in chat, and overall be a complete dumbass in chat, but then ill hop in a VC and be COMPLETELY SILENT if its not just me and my super freakin cool girlfriend. Even then though, I try my hardest to communicate, talk, and just be friendly.

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I try to be as supportive as I can usually. Im no therapist, and I cant help with everything, but Ill typically find myself just listening and handing out (fairly shitty) advice. I dont actually know if this is a religious "love thy neighbour" response, or a sense of my own nature, but im happy with how I am and how I try to be as welcoming as I can.

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Im quite happy with my life at the moment. Nothing is ever perfect, but Ive managed to get to the point mentally where I just learn to wait things out. If its nothing, itll fix itself (as bad of a mindset that can be) and that typically works. Ive had my ups and downs, this probably being a reason for my will to listen to others. Even then though, life has been good. Im happy, and have been the most open about my weird self that I have EVER been.

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I never really know what im doing. I find myself doing projects (like this website) constantly as a way to occupy my mind. I draw quite often, although not too well. Im self-taught in Roblox Studio where im currently making two games: 'WAGYU WORL' and 'Psychosocial Perspectives'. I always have random cool ideas of topics, but I can never actually get around to actually executing them LOL. Apart from that, im usually yapping, working, or studying (either for school, or random stuff that Im hyperfixated over for no reason).